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slowly getting numb…
December 12, 2008Here we go again. . . I need to breakaway from the redundancy of it, from this cycle i go through everyday. It is amazing how you can control the situation by just being dense. When im dense, i feel in control of the situation and it feels good. When I’m dense, I feel respect for myself for the first time after being martyr. It helps me to be unaffected by the seldom absence of his physical and emotional pressence. when I’m numb, I feel strong. Everyday, Different senario the same old reasons, the same old arguements. I am not sure if I could keep up much longer cause everyday I am getting tired of the same person, the same attitude, same bitches around me. Im not sure either if I could keep up getting numb becuase maybe there might be side effects after this and I don’t want any pain or crying anymore. I admit that I want them to feel my cold shoulders and be a bitch sometimes. If this is the way to have it, so be it.
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