Im used to it

Just an ordinary minute without you, but Im used to it…

Sometimes I feel so guilty for feeling the way I do…

Everybody so proud of me, these days look like I’m fine, I guess I have gotten use to it…

Gettin’ used to it..

my heart is in pieces too…

I’m getting used to it.

(by: Radney Foster)

slowly getting numb…

Here we go again. . . I need to breakaway from the redundancy of it, from this cycle i go through everyday. It is amazing how you can control the situation by just being dense. When im dense, i feel  in control of the situation and it feels good. When I’m dense, I feel respect for myself for the first time after being  martyr. It helps me to be unaffected by the seldom absence of his physical and emotional pressence. when I’m numb, I feel strong. Everyday, Different senario the same old reasons, the same old arguements. I am not sure if I could keep up much longer cause everyday I am getting tired of the same person, the same attitude, same bitches around me. Im not sure either if I could keep up getting numb becuase maybe there might be side effects after this and I don’t want any pain or crying anymore. I admit that I want them to feel my cold shoulders and be a bitch sometimes. If this is the way to have it, so be it.

Now by MYMP

Now is all I know Now is all I got And I don’t know If there will be tomorrow for us.
Now is all I care about
Now that you are here
Now that you’re the contents of my heart.

Now you’re all I know
Now is all I promise
And I don’t know
If there will be a future for us.

Now is all I live for
Now that you are near
And it was best that from the start it was clear.

Refrain:
Loving is not owning
We can let it go
We can let it go.

Loving is not owning
You can let me go
You can let me go.

Chorus:
There’s a reason
Why we love each other now
And we don’t know if this is forever.

There’s a reason
Why we are together now
And we don’t care if it’s not forever now.

Now is all I think about
Now that I am happy
And I’m not sure
If there will be a future for us.

Now is all I offer
It’s everything I got
And I still wish
That there will be a tomorrow for us.

(Repeat Refrain)
(Repeat Chorus)
Ad Lib
(Repeat Refrain)
(Repeat Chorus except last word)
(Repeat Chorus)

Coda:
We love each other now…

Plan B, now!

Gone are the days were my only downer  is peer pressure. I miss the days where I have to choose from not missing an episode of dawson’s creek to working my assignments- petty choices. I daydream a moment of my life where my love is still free and accepted.

I thought I had figure out my life clearly like a drawing of a kid in a clear sheet of paper where I was able to easily scribble colorfully my life with hearts, bells and stars. But again I was wrong..I always have my fair share of mistakes and wrong choices but this time it’s Big TIME!

I never thought I would be in this situation where my only hope is prayers. I need to stand and clear my mind  as soon as possible. this is where I am right now, in an edge of a cliff where my only life support is a failing root and  im hanging, im still hanging on… waiting for my life to be rescued. I wish I could tell you dad how I am struggling right now, I hope I could go out with the  clicks but I could not afford to, I  cry for to see that I could not help my nanay in her financial needs, I wish i won’t be a burden anymore to my superiors at work.

I badly needed a Plan B. I am aware that I needed a Plan B, but I don’t know where to start and what to choose .

He choose me.

Instead of waiting for Ms. Perfect he choose to love Ms. Doing-My-Best.

Sweet Escape : "Was that my life" by : Joe dee Messina

Click “Add Song”, Click “Browse”, Click “Was that my life by: Joe dee Messina”, Click “Upload”, Click “Play”…ahh..sweet escape.

 I’ll tell you why it’s a sweet escape. When I needed a soundtrack for my own drama in life, for a particular feeling in my day, It’s nice to click and play from my mp3 player that easy and escape from the reality and mellow myself with the lyrics and melody I’m going to listen. I’m starting again from scratch, from love, from my career, from my savings (lol), from everything actually and this song would best explain my feelings right now.

“Was that my life” by: Joe dee Messina is a soundtrack from the movie “View from the Top”. 

(sample mp3) Jo Dee Messina - Was That My Life

(lyrics)
I don’t want to be the one who’s old before their time,
And lose the wonder that I felt as a child.
I can’t run this race believing I might lose;
There’s still so much to see, and so much left to do.
Yes, I’ll fall before I fly,
But no one can say I never tried.

We just get one ride around the sun,
In this dream of time.
It goes so fast that one day we look back,
And we ask: oh, was that my life?
Ooh, was that my life rollin’ on by?
Oooh, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on by.
Was that my life?
Ooooh, was that my life?

Una sa lahat!

Una sa lahat, salamat.